Forgiveness

Dear Friend,

Think about a time in your life when you've experienced getting hurt. It wasn't exactly fun, now was it? We don't mean to remind you of some terrible situation, but we thought it would be helpful to have a certain experience in mind as you read this post. Whether it was you falling off your bike and scraping your knee or something more complex like being betrayed by someone who you thought cared a lot about you, getting hurt is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, this post focuses on situations similar to the latter- ones that often bring about other negative emotions such as bitterness, confusion, and anger. As humans, one of our most instantaneous and natural reactions is to ignore these feelings and store them away. But why do we keep a bottle of negative thoughts inside of us? For safekeeping? No. It's because we don't want to face our problems and feel vulnerable in the process. Bottling up our feelings is essentially the same as holding grudges- we are afraid to let go. By refusing to let go, we are allowing ourselves to drown in negativity. But problems cannot fix themselves- we need to initiate the process. So how do we do that?

Forgiveness.

This is one of those topics that the two of us are just trying to understand and give another perspective to. So just stick with us and hopefully you'll gain something valuable out of it. When we think of forgiveness, we often think of the phrase "forgive and forget." However, forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness involves reflecting on a challenging problem and learning how to handle it. In fact, if we spend all our time trying to "forget," we will probably end up feeling even more frustrated. We do not have to forget in order to forgive. Forgiveness may mean something different to everyone, so we can't give you an exact definition. However, below are our thoughts on forgiving others as well as ourselves.

Forgiving others
Depending on the situation, forgiving others may happen within a few days or it may take years. However, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to forgive someone because you've had time to dwell on all sorts of scenarios. Just do it- everything happens for a reason. We aren't saying that forgiveness will heal your relationship instantly, but it has the power to open doors to reconciliation. You and that other person will be able to mutually respect each other based off a foundation of forgiveness, which is very important in rebuilding a relationship. You or that person may have "changed" or "grown up," but don't allow that to be an excuse to avoid forgiveness. You just have to give each other a second chance to make things right.

Forgiving yourself 
We're sure there have been times in your life where you feel like you aren't good enough. But what exactly does it mean to be "good enough"? This vague phrase can mean a lot of things, but it should relate to you personally. You can't constantly keep comparing yourself to others and live by other people's expectations. Don't let other people influence you to be someone you are not. If there are people in your life who are doing this to you and making you feel bad about yourself, they are not good for you. By spending so much time trying to be "good enough" for them, you are forgetting those in your life who look past your imperfections. Stop shutting out those who already think you are brilliant. This is very important when learning how to forgive yourself. By surrounding yourself with those who lift you higher, you yourself will feel happier and more forgiving. As long as you do your personal best and meet your own goals, that's all that matters. 

Hopefully this post has given you insight on how to handle certain situations in your life. But before we end, we thought we would touch on a topic that goes hand in hand with forgiveness: grace. Sometimes there is absolutely no logical or straightforward reasoning behind forgiveness. But if you are able to forgive those who don't seem to deserve it, we have great admiration for you. You have found grace- and that can lead to healing. We don't want to take up more time writing about grace- we'll save that for tomorrow's post, but just know that your life doesn't have to consist of disappointment, it can be full of compassion and empathy.

Challenge: Think of someone in your life who you aren't on the best terms with and make the effort to make peace with them. Find that person and let them know you still care- simply through forgiveness. If they were important at one point in your life, they are still important today.

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."- Paul Boese 

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine

Road Rage

Dear Friend,

Traffic is the worst. Regardless of if you are on time or late, being stuck traffic is never fun. Especially when you are driving in a stick shift which you still are not 100% comfortable with, it is pouring, and everyone seems to think that it is a wonderful idea to stop right in front of you, on a hill, for prolonged periods of time. In the midst of my annoyance, my friend told me that the reason for the month after month construction on our commute is because of salmon. Yep. Salmon. I'm all for preserving nature and what have you, but for a place on the highway that I didn't even know passed over a river, salmon construction should not take 3 months. This happened to me (Kylie) this morning. My carpool buddy was privy to my long rant that basically went something like this:

"Why are we stopping. No. You are dumb. CALM YOURSELF DOWN. Oh. FINE. That's a good thing to do right now. I love it when cars are--WHAT ARE YOU DOING OH MY LORD I HATE YOU I HATE RAIN I HATE SALMON I HATE PEOPLE I HATE AMERICA."

By the time I got to school, my left leg was sore from the clutch and my tea was cold. Not a very good way to start a Tuesday. I am usually an annoyingly positive person, but bad drivers on slick roads can turn my mood around. I don't have road rage like some people do. I won't start flipping people off, or making jerk moves. I just start talking and talking and talking. How do you handle your road rage?

Here are 10 tricks to help the next time you find yourself being stalled for annoying reasons:

1. Take a deep breath. Remember that things can always be worse. You could be on the side of the road in a ditch. At least you are still in a warm car. At least you are still alive. At least you have 5 fingers on each hand. At least you have an above average number of legs (Think about it. People with 1 leg bring the average down by some amount of decimals. Regardless of the amount, the average number of legs is less than two. If you are driving a car, you probably have two legs, meaning that you are ABOVE AVERAGE!). At least you have your license!

2. Remember something happy in your life. Sort of like when Harry Potter is trying to conjure a patronus charm. Imagine yourself being faced with dementors and every person around you is a muggle. In order to cast this spell you have to think of your happiest memory. What would you think of?

3. Listen to some music. Soft music is good if you tend to the angrier, more aggressive side, but if you choose the right song, you can imagine yourself in an exciting action movie. Try singing along.

4. Tweet about how bad your life is. Only joking. Never ever text and drive. Have your friend tweet about how bad your life is. Or start drafting the tweet in your head that you will write once you are safely parked about how bad your life is.

5. Play with all of the settings in your car. Calculate how many combinations of venting/temperature/circulation etc. you can have in your car. Challenge yourself to find one thing about your vehicle that you weren't aware of before.

6. Listen to NPR.

7. Try to convince the person in the car next to you that you are a CIA agent. Sunglasses optional. Note: remember that the guy next to you could be a loon with a gun. Use wise freedom.

8. Try to not stop. If the car in front of you is stopped, stay behind them far enough that you can creep up until they start to move again. Note: This may annoy other drivers.

9. Have window races if you are in a carpool. At random times yell "1-2-3 WINDOW RACE" and whoever rolls their window down all the way and back up wins. You can play this game by yourself as well, although that is sad and pathetic.

10. Think WWKCD? What would Kylie and Catherine do?

Best of luck on the roads! Stay safe!

"I also think stress is related to control. When you're in charge of your life, you tend to not care about losing control of things that don't really matter like traffic jams." -Marilu Henner

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine

Bucket Lists

Dear Friend,

Do you have a bucket list? If you don't, we highly recommend that you create one. Bucket lists can help you focus on what really matters to you in life. Instead of wasting your life on activities that don't matter at all, you should spend your life doing things that make you happy.

Bucket lists are constantly growing, so don't ever think once you "finish" one, then you're done forever. There are probably many activities that will somehow enrich your life- here are a few things from our current bucket list: 

1. Go canyoneering 

2. Graduate 

3. Travel to Europe 

4. Create a blog (check!) 

5. Finish a DIY from pinterest 

6. Go zorbing 

7. Learn another language 

8. Get into college 

9. Inspire people 

10. Go on a road trip together 

11. Carry out a successful prank 

12. Visit Hogwarts 

Those are just a few activities on our bucket list- we are constantly adding things every day. What's on your bucket list? 

The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for betters one ahead. 

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine

Life is an Onion

Dear Friend,

The other day the two of us had the following conversation over IM:

Kylie: omg a world without *********.
Catherine: omg what if we jump worlds.
Kylie: what.
Catherine: Like time travel to different worlds. Like what if there are other dimensions?
Kylie: OH like a parallel universe? I follow. Like an onion.
Catherine: yes yes
Kylie: Like a really big onion.

So here we are. Trying explain to you, dear reader, how your world is like a really big onion. This is the first of a series of "Life is" posts, in which we will use convoluted metaphors to explain our thoughts.

Each person has their own life. Similarly, each person has their own world, and they are the center of it. This might seem selfish, but we are all the centers of our own worlds because if you think about it, everything happens around us. Your personal world is an onion. Each layer represents different things. Those closest to the center are those things which are most important to you: your family, your closest friends, your religion perhaps. The outer layers are the dried up, nasty layers. These are the layers of regrets, negative thoughts, etc. This is why the outside of your life onion is crusty.

The problem is, sometimes we get our layers mixed up. We begin to deviate from the center of our onion as the edges pull us farther to them. This happens by dwelling on the past, or hanging on to people who aren't good for us. Consequentially we get pulled from our true friends and values. The things closest to the center of our life onion are easy to see, as those layers have the smallest surface area. However, the outer layers have a huge surface area, which is why they wrongly take up much of our head space and time. When we give attention to these layers, we get pulled farther from the core, and we actually expand the bad layers.

In order to return to the center of the onion, we need to do one of two things. The first is to push back through the layers of negativity. This can be done, but, similarly to a real onion, this will cause tears because it is not always easy and the layers will still remain, pulling you back. The second option is to just cut away the bad layers. This will also cause tears, but it will decrease the size of the onion, which will bring you closer to the center and make it easier to stay there. As soon as we begin to pile on more and more layers, life gets more complicated.

We can always add or subtract layers. This is where the parallel universe phenomenon comes in. If you are living out on the farthest layer of your life onion, you are probably not a very happy human being. However if you strip away the outer layers, you will become a healthier, more well rounded and generally awesome person. No time travel needed, just some layer jumping. If you think about it, it actually makes sense.

We hope that you enjoyed the first installment of "Life is..." posts. Stay tuned for more in the future! Comment or tell us in person what you think we should compare life to. We are always up for a challenge.

If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine

13 Things to Start and Stop Doing

Dear Friend,

Has that pesky little voice in your head ever said "Oh, I'll do that tomorrow" or "This is the last time...for real...". We all put things off, and we all continue to do things that we know we shouldn't. Newsflash: tomorrow is always coming, but will never get here. As soon as it does, it's already today, and we are already making more excuses. Below is a list of 13 things that you should start doing TODAY, and 13 things that you have to stop.

13 things to STOP doing
1. Stop being afraid to make mistakes
2. Stop telling yourself that you aren't good enough
3. Stop spending time with people who aren't good for you
4. Stop comparing yourself to others
5. Stop dressing to impress others
6. Stop trying to make other people be like you
7. Stop judging people before you get to know then
8. Stop regretting things you cannot change
9. Stop acting like the victim and being a martyr
10. Stop putting off difficult conversations
11. Stop making promises that you can't keep
12. Stop rushing through your day
13. Stop having unrealistic expectations of yourself


13 things to START doing
1. Start saying "I love you" more often
2. Start going on long walks
3. Start telling others how much they mean to you
4. Start giving people second chances
5. Start drinking more tea
6. Start reading before you go to bed
7. Start asking for help and advice
8. Start being the person that your dog thinks you are
9. Start thinking more positive thoughts
10. Start trusting yourself
11. Start going to bed earlier
12. Start forgiving those who used to be important to you
13. Start taking more risks

If you start/stop doing these 26 things, your life will improve. We guarantee it :) Don't put them off until tomorrow though, or they will never happen.

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." -Mahatma Gandhi

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine

DIY: Caramel Apple Spice

Dear Friend,

The other day, we participated in a 5k Heart Walk  in Seattle. The walk was extremely fun and refreshing, but after being in the cold weather for quite some time, we were in great need of a Starbucks run. Once we arrived at Starbucks, we decided to go out on a limb and try something new. We each ordered a tall, Caramel Apple Spice...honestly, that was probably the best decision we made all week. The drink was amazing. 

So naturally, we decided to try and make it ourselves. You may have seen a recipe for this on trusty Pinterest, but if you haven't, here's how to make the lovely drink:

What you need:
-a cute mug
-a packet of Alpine apple cider mix
-a can of Reddi whip cream
-caramel sauce
-hot water

What to do:
First, pour the apple cider mix into the mug. Add hot water and stir. Then, add some of the caramel sauce to the drink itself (add as much as you like). After, simply add the whip cream to your drink and drizzle the caramel sauce on top. Voila!

Although the Starbucks label isn't on your drink, we hope you like this little DIY. We love the fall and this drink (along with Pumpkin Spice Lattes) makes it even more enjoyable. What's your favorite drink to have during the fall?

"In the entire circle of the year there are no days so delightful as those of a fine October, when the trees are bare to the mild heavens, and the red leaves bestrew the road, and you can feel the breath of winter, morning and evening...no days so calm, so tenderly solemn, and with such a reverent meekness in the air."

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine

Things Kylie and Catherine Say/Don't Say

Dear Friend,

In an effort to help you get to know us better, this post is dedicated to our own version of "things people say/don't say." The first list are statements we tend to say quite a bit- if you know us personally, we're sure you've heard these many times before. However, the second list consists of quotes that we would probably never ever say. And without further ado, enjoy the lists!

Things Kylie and Catherine Say 

"Ruh roh!" 

"What's your coffee order?" 

"I am flipping a switch!" 

"Take me out of the oven because I am done." 

"Don't worry about it." 

"Don't die on me, kay?" 

"Stop the violence!" 

"Let's be honest..." 

"It's only 11:00? Wow, it's early!" 

"I'm turning blue again..." 

"So if we split this 5 hour energy drink, we'll each get 2.5 hours of energy." 

"We sent you an email." 

"Hey! We have friends!" 

"Let's think about this..." 

"Fear not." 

"Let's make some tea." 

"I'm cold." 

Things Kylie and Catherine Don't Say 

"I would love a marionberry!"

"Please scratch your leg louder."

"I bought a sweater from J-Crew today." 

"We don't like making new friends."

"Taylor Swift is getting old."

"All our friends are the same age as us" 

"What's pinterest?"

"Please don't respond to our email."

"I don't know that middle schooler." 

"Nice parking job, Kylie!"

"We haven't been to the library in forever."

"Don't be yourself." 

"Investigate self-hate."

We hope you found these statements amusing :) Let us know if there are other things we say/don't say that we forgot to write down!

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."- C.S Lewis 

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine