How to be a Good Friend

Dear Friend,

The other day, Catherine came across the statement: "The average friendship lasts for about 5 to 7 years." We don't know the source of this statement or how reliable it is, but it got us thinking about our friendship. We are on our ninth year of being friends- in other words, we've been friends for more than  half our lives. By the previous definition, we are considered to be above the supposed "average" of years a friendship lasts. We're pretty proud of this accomplishment, but what does it mean to be part of a friendship? As we said in a previous post, we aren't your typical pair of best friends...we really aren't normal. However, we think we can prolong our friendship by understanding what it means to be a good friend. In this post, we've outlined certain qualities that we consider a good friend to have. We know every person is different, but these little pointers are what we consider most important and have played huge roles in us maintaining a solid friendship.

24/7 support 
"I got you." This phrase is something the two of us say to each other all the time. It's simple, but it means a whole lot. It could mean anything from "don't worry, I'll give you a ride home" to "it's okay if you need to vent- i'm all ears." A good friend is willing to listen and is no more than a phone call away and by this, we mean they will respond to you no matter what you have to tell them. Interestingly enough, the two of us have created a little communication system. When we text each other, we normally don't send more than three texts at a time. When one of us receives notification of ten or more texts from the other, we know something is urgent. However, the worse is when one of us notices all those texts, a missed phone call, and a voice mail- this means that something crazy or terrible has happened and that the other must respond immediately. If you haven't created a complex communication system like this, it doesn't mean you aren't a good friend...that's just how we communicate and let each other know that we're around. A good friend will always, always, always be there for you.

Differences are good 
Often times, people think that friendships are solely based off of common interests. Of course it's natural for you to start a conversation with someone who enjoys running or watching football like you do, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are a good friend. Being able to recognize each other's differences is just as important as recognizing similarities. The two of us consider ourselves to be the same person because our train of thoughts is extremely similar and we share the same values, but there's no doubt that we have differences. For example, one of us is simply fascinated with the sciences and is hoping to pursue a career in neurosurgery whereas the other finds so much joy in Broadway musicals and could spend the whole winter season skiing. The two of us just don't "respect" these differences; we support them as well. In fact, good friends are complements of each other. They are able to bring out the best in you, even when they can't bring out the best in themselves. You are doing a fine job as a friend if you are able to be proud of such differences rather than looking down upon them.

Pursuing happiness 
If you want to learn more about happiness, you can read our previous post on "Choosing Happiness." But for this post, we mainly want to touch on the connection between happiness and friendship. A good friend will always seek happiness for you, not the friendship itself. A friendship cannot be considered healthy when one person is unhappy. There are many ways to pursue happiness. You could crack a joke because you know that laughter is the best medicine...or you could have a positive outlook on life while your friend is feeling down in the dumps. It doesn't matter exactly how you achieve happiness, just make sure your friendship gets a dose of it each day.

We could probably list many other factors that contribute to you being a good friend, but we hope this little "how to" guide can get you started. There's a "good friend" in everyone- you just have to find them. Someone once said that "Life is better with friends" and we couldn't agree more. It's so important that you have someone that would drop everything for you, but it's even more important that you are willing to do the exact same for them.

"Good friends are like stars...you don't always see them, but you know they are always there." 

Yours truly,
Kylie and Catherine